Saturday, January 15, 2011

Flattered and Confused

These seem to be the two words that describe me right now. Flattered. Confused. I'm not stressed (well, no more than usual), worried, or overly tired.

A colleague of mine (okay, I would call her a friend though we're no where near being super close) wants me to do Women's Ultimate Frisbee. When a friend relayed the message, I responded, "Like an intramural team?" But she actually wants me to consider being on the CLUB TEAM.  Like I would be an athlete again.  I run sometimes on the treadmill in the nice workout room hidden in Duhme's basement, and I play Ultimate Frisbee after orchestra rehearsals when the weather is beautiful (which is actually where the club Frisbee player saw my skills). Yet that isn't the same as being on a legitimate sports team. I was surprised and flattered. Jackie herself is a fantastic Frisbee player (she has a kick@$$ throw and awesome precision), so her praise has value to me. It actually made my day to think that even just one person views me as something more than a musician or engineer.  I hope I have time to fit it into my schedule, but I am going to be honest with myself.  I can hardly keep up with orchestra, KKY, SGT, and Purdue SWE, and I just don't want to   'keep up'; I want to excel.  Yet for right now I'll focus on the joy I felt at being asked to consider being on a Purdue club team :)

As for confused... this one is more complicated.  It has everything to do with a best friend of mine.  Lately I've been feeling differently about him.  We walk to class together, talking and laughing like we always do.  But yesterday I found myself in math class wondering what it would be like to hold his hand as we walk.  When he said, "See you at lunch!" as he stood outside the door, I realized that it might look like we were a couple... Yet I don't want to risk it just yet.  I've always erred on the side of caution, and I plan on keeping it that way.  Our friendship is too valuable now, but if I feel more certain later, I might change my mind ;)

<3

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